Monday, August 22, 2011

Rookie Lessons

Last night concluded my rookie season as a derby girl. It was a little sad to have this chapter come to a close, but the new challenges and experiences that lie ahead are far more exciting!!! Pretty soon we will be the helping hands to a new crop of derby fresh meat. We get to help them along, impart our wisdom and fan the flames of the desire for this all consuming and incredible sport! Today I'm sore and sleepy with a wary smile, compiling what I have learned throughout the journey just ended. There are SO many lessons and tips I have picked up along the way....I scaled this down to the bare essentials.


  1. Sweat is sexy.
  2. Spraying your pads between washings is essential.
  3. Love and listen to your teammates. It helps on and off the rink.
  4. Attack without fear and hug it out later. Leave the anger on the rink where it belongs.
  5. Bruises are also sexy and you start to miss them when they fade.
  6. Hydration is more important than ANYTHING else in the summer. 
  7. Fishnets aren't broken in until they are broken.
  8. Derby friends say "yes" when your other friends say "no".
  9. If at first you don't succeed, practice, practice, practice!
  10. Refs are smarter than they look. (hee hee) Their tips can save your game.
  11.  Garters are a bitch to skate in.
  12. LOVE your knees. They take everything the hardest, you must treat them extra nice!
  13. Epsom salts are a miracle.
  14. Fans will love you even when you lose.
  15. Play your best with all your heart and you will never have a single regret.
  16. Check your fears at the door. (I am still working on this...getting it down slowly!)
  17. EVERYONE will agree that a great bra is your best investment. (besides your perfect skates of course!)
  18. Love your league and try not to just hang out with your team. Branch out and get to know everyone!
  19. Ask not what your league can do for you, but what you can do for your league.
  20. Skate until it breaks you. At. Every. Practice. 
I feel so lucky to have found something I am passionate about. Feel free to add any more advice or lessons YOU have picked up along the way! I may not be a rookie anymore, but I still have lots to learn!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Don't bother me.....I'm busy.

I haven't been blogging much....sorry. My life has been kind of busy spiraling into this apex of disaster and insanity. Perhaps I am being a little dramatic.....but perhaps it is a fairly accurate statement. I began discussing my woes with a friend and he seemed to think it was my way of coping with stress. I heap a ton more on my plate to make sure I send my life into a full on frenzied nightmare existence. So....yeah....busy.
Just to give you a vague idea of what the next couple weeks look like:
I have my first kid going into kindergarten in one week. As if this process isn't normally a difficult one, add to it that she has just suffered through her parents' divorce this past year, she speaks her mind fully and completely at all times, AND SHE IS MY BABY!!!! Okay, I know she will be fine. She is smart, independent, compassionate, and taller than most kids her age. She can totally handle it. I am a different story. Mentally preparing for this has been rocky and I'm not quite sure how I will do on K-Day.
I have my last derby game of the season about 4 days after my daughter starts school. Trying to get in enough practices and work out during the week is difficult to say the least. Just making time to eat can be a challenge some days.
Design work has also picked up and I have about four more projects I am in the middle of. Some are more time consuming than others, and of course I love the work so I never say no.
Add to those other things a daily routine that is fairly strenuous, more work meetings, an "ice cream social" (whatever the hell THAT means), teacher conferences, playdates, dinners with friends, and birthday parties.....my calendar is booked and there is no quiet.

The Puppy.
Now for some reason it is when things get this chaotic that I decide to shoot myself in the foot. Last week, I accepted the gift of a puppy from a neighbor. A FRICKIN' PUPPY. Am I demented? Sadistic? Apparently so. Not even a week in and I am cursing myself and her enormous soulful puppy eyes. My life in NO way lends itself to rearing a puppy. And yet....here I am. She is a good puppy, but a puppy all the same. Potty training two creatures simultaneously seems quite preposterous. Yet, I am attempting. She bites at me, jumps up and scratches my legs, LOVES getting into any and all trash, and is unrelenting in her efforts to sleep beside me. Pretty much just got myself another kid. Now the odds are even more against me as I plunge headfirst into the nightmare world that is ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. Keep your crucifixes, candles, incense and altars on hand. I will need all the help I can get.