The F@*king Mouths On These Kids!!!

      Let's face it, every kid goes through the "cursing" phase. They are going to be exposed to it somewhere, even if you try and shield them from it. My kids are usually okay....not big cussers. On the occasion that they do let one fly, I can at least appreciate that they use it in the right context.

      Coming home from the grocery store JUST as we walked in the door:
       Me: "Oh no. We forgot to get milk."
       Elliott: "Shit............. We need to go back. I'll get Simon."

    I can't exactly reprimand her for this. She used it correctly....and it's use was well warranted. I also believe the more attention you draw to it...the more kids will use it. I have explained certain words that are not to be used by children. I have also explained WHY it is bad to use them. I think maybe that gets overlooked sometimes. Not only are bad words highly offensive to some people, they can hurt feelings, be seen as rude, and even reflect badly on themselves or their parents. I tell my daughter that swearing is for the ignorant. "It's for people who can't creatively express themselves." I have also explained that sometimes, when mommy is really mad.....she forgets to be more intelligent. Happens to the best of us.

     Simon is a WHOLE different ball of wax. He is a two year old (re: asshole) and 1. doesn't know any better 2. understand my explanations of why this is bad  3. give a shit. He likes to kick things or throw them in frustration and yell "Fuck it!" Yes....it is hilarious to see. I DO NOT laugh though. Keep it all in and have a good one after he's crashed. Laughing at this, will also encourage it's further use. His tiny two year old brain thinks, "I am a two year old asshole and I am hilarious when I act awful. Everyone thinks this shit is hilarious. People laughing is funny....I should keep it up." Yeah.....it's not THAT funny. Especially if you are me.

     I like to offer alternative phrases for cursing like cotton-headed ninny muggins, jello-jiggler, pea-spotted carrottron, bug-headed buttspanker, tuna-flavored cheesebandit, or eel-livered sockpastry. The point is to get them thinking creatively and not sounding like foul-mouthed little hood-rats.