|Who IS this dad?!!!|
I REALLY like the idea of a dad. All I have is a vague concept of what he's supposed to be. My own father lived out of state most of my life and was never around for many experiences. I always had his love, guarded support, and he always contributed to my education and monetary needs. I have a great dad. He just has not been a physical presence. It may have a direct relation to my perception of what a dad should be like and where I went wrong in choosing my mate. (Purely speculation, it may have nothing to do with anything.)
I see what I may envision in my mind as "The Perfect Dad" at the parks with their kids. They engage their kids, chase them, help them up ladders and reach the water fountain, teach and talk with their kids, feed and nurture them, much like their mothers do. Observing these people always bothers me. I get jealous. My kids don't have a guy like this in their lives. I envy the mothers that get their afternoon off from the kids and imagine them off having lunch with friends or getting pedicures. I actually fantasize about doing these things! I'm not even sure if they realize how lucky they are. I have friends like this. It's getting harder to relate to them.
In dating, should I ever have any time to go on dates, this is something us moms have to consider. "Perfect Dad" potential. I am very wary of men in general after my experiences. I don't trust them with my kids. I can take the heartbreak, my kids can't. This has been the biggest hurdle to overcome. I doubt many men read this blog anymore (as I have certainly alienated my male audience by now), but if you are reading this and you are estranged from your kids.....just stop. Get yourself together for their sake and for the sanity of their mother. Take care of them the way you set out to in the beginning. It's never too late.