Monday, May 28, 2012

Grumble, Grumble

I haven't been super ranty in a long time. I have been blogging less since my injury. People may have noticed this, they may not have. I find it hard to write when I am busy. It's hard to make time for it, find inspiration and just let go enough to be comical. I recently had this epiphany. People LIKE me more when I am stressed out and grumpy. People seem to think it's hilarious when I am annoyed by shit. Was I really ever aiming for diplomacy with this blog? Hell no. It's my rant for a fucking reason! Let's just get back to that shit. Here are the reasons I rant....and the reasons you assholes think it's so funny to see me freak out.

My kids. Hilarious? Yes. Also, irritating.
  1. My kids. They are also awesome in their own right, but they can suck at times like ALL children. They like to wake me up, whistle, throw things at me, run away from me, hide shit from me, make messes, stay up too late, make me fetch shit, complain about things I have no control over, watch the same movies over and over, say inappropriate things to strangers, well.....the list goes on and on. Kids are fucking annoying most of the time. Being a parent is mostly about learning tolerance and how not to kill people.
  2. Phil Collins. I don't need to explain this.
  3. Khaki- It's ugly and unflattering and it needs to go away.....forever.
  4. Bugs- Fuck you guys.....especially the biting ones.
  5. Derby egos- You aren't a rockstar, you aren't playing in the NFL making millions, your "fans" don't adore you or hang on your every word as if you were a literal genius. You play derby. It's a fun sport, that is all. Get over yourself and start loving your league as much as your id.
  6. People that don't make eye contact- you guys really freak me out. WTF?
  7. He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named - this guy
  8. Huggers - YES! Still annoying as shit. Cut it out. It's for derby family and family only.
  9. Injuries - WHY do you have to take forever to heal?! I need to be a superhero now!
  10. Ziplock bags that don't close right and ones that do but when you pull them open they rip open right UNDER the zip part!!!
  11. Family - They always say the wrong thing.
  12. Loud shoes - Might as well wear a bell.
  13. Thongs - ouch and no
  14. Dubstep - It took me forever to even learn that this was not just a person, rather a genre of music. It sucks horribly and I can't unlearn or unhear it. Next fad please!
  15. Legos - Why so many tiny pieces?! I hate you. You are like ninjas in carpet....and you hurt!
  16. Money woes- I hate that they exist. For me and anyone else. No one should have money problems in this modern age. What happened to the Utopia that was supposed to replace the system by the time I grew up? And where's my hoverboard?!!!
That's all I got for now....I have too many things really and no concentration. I have new blog plans and must set about making them a reality. Bwahahahaha!!!!


  1. I'm an often-egotistic derby girl who hugs. Oops.

  2. I'm a non-Derby Girl who'd rather be forced to babysit my sister-in-laws Heathen Children then be hugged involuntarily!! Ick!!