Disturbed Peace

So...I took some time away from blogging to kind of assemble some thoughts. I thought maybe there should be some kind of theme or something to this page. Life doesn't always work like that though and perhaps it's better that my blog reflect my life. Things had really been swell recently until the last week or so. Had these blues creep up on me and before I knew it I was swallowed whole. It reached it's pinnacle this week when I came home to find my house broken into.

THE PROBLEM

   The door was loose as I went to put my key in the lock. Someone had kicked it right in. I walked in cautiously and saw the back door was slightly open and a chilly breeze was blowing in. I looked around and things were in disarray. My heart started pounding and I was struggling to catch my breath. It didn't even occur to me that they might still be there and I started walking slowly towards the bedroom...still unsure of what had happened. My bedroom had been ripped apart. Everything that had been stored away in my closet was open and strewn about the floor. The dresser drawers were open and clothes were hanging out the sides. It sunk in all at once....my home was a crime scene. I called 911.....then waited over an hour for a policeman to come make a report. I asked him what I should do to make my place safer....he suggested I move. Um...?
    I am glad my kids were at their dad's that night and didn't have to see their mom freak. So many facets of the situation bothered me...are still bothering me. They only took one thing that I could find....a second generation ipod shuffle that is worth...nothing! It doesn't make ANY sense. Why pass up prescription bottles and jewelry? All my dvds were still sitting on the shelf. They kicked down my door and tore through my personal life and space....for what? I haven't been sleeping since it happened. I have been delaying going right home when possible. I have been more terrified than I care to admit. It has only been a few months since my car was broken into...now things feel like maybe....this is being directed at me.

MY SOLUTION

    So what does one do when their peace of mind has been shattered? I plot and plan and sit on edge. Being a single mom, this is my biggest fear, that I cannot protect my kids. I bought a baseball bat...the aluminum kind. I feel only slightly better with it next to my bed. I had asked the office at my complex to reinforce the door to my apartment. They told me they didn't have funds for that. I have now begun my search for another apartment. It's the only way I will feel safe now. That.....or arming my kids with semi-automatic weapons and training them all Rambo style.