She Will Make Me Crazy

My twin.

   This is the other half of the team that is determined to turn my hair gray and have me committed. Meet Elliott Blue. She is like most five year old little girls. She loves anything sparkly, pink and obnoxious. She is obsessed with bodily functions and gives me constant updates. I very purposefully limit her exposure to television and internet as she is easily persuaded. Case and point: When I was getting out of the shower once when she was four, she recited a commercial for stretchmarks to me WORD FOR FUCKING WORD. I love this kid, but some days I really wonder if she will ever see her sixth birthday.
    She is pretty much the reason I started blogging in the first place, so I have to give her a little credit there. SO many friends were commenting on my facebook when I posted the ridiculous things she said or did. They would tell me to blog about this crazy crap. Like when I came out of the bathroom to find her with her pants down rubbing her bare ass on the tv screen. REALLY? Just yesterday she had gotten some letter stickers and spelled the work "BANG" across her face with them. She also says the craziest shit I have ever heard come out of a kid's mouth. The problem with Elliott is......she is exactly like me. We both laugh hysterically when people fall down, we are both incredibly stubborn, both artistic, and she has even picked up on my speech pattern. It is SO weird to have a tiny clone that won't listen to you at all.
    I'm sure you can look at the pictures and see that little twinkle of defiance. It annoys me, but I can respect it. She is getting to that age in her life where she is able to articulate her desires and go after them. So, when they conflict with my plans, and she goes for it anyway....well, I kind of admire the spunk and don't punish her too bad. I want her to stand up for herself and question the authority, the system, whatever....even if it is me. I'm probably raising her all wrong in a lot of people's opinions. Whatever...all I know is, she's a smart kid, I'm a pretty smart mom, and we are learning this together. She starts kindergarten next year and it is just going to get more interesting!