Monday, June 27, 2011

The Art of Being Patient

Yeah....this title is completely misleading because I don't have it. AT ALL. Not even a little. Lately.....I can't even feign it. I am also high-tempered which is kind of a lethal mix lately.
     I am thinking perhaps it is because of children. People without kids always remark, "Oh you must have so much patience to do all that stuff with your kids!" Really? How so? Have you ever had to listen to someone re-start a sentence no less than 7 times on a regular basis? It's irritating. Take into account now that they are doing this at top volume while you are driving and another child is talking at the same time. How many minutes would you allow it to go on? I can be pretty tolerant, but patient....I AM NOT. I can tune out the other noises in the car...but just waiting for the finish of the sentence sets me on edge!!! I WILL snap if the answer does not come quickly letting the fact that she is only 5 and has a hard time holding the thought in her head long enough to articulate it escape me.
     This impatience has branched out recently in the heat and stretched hours of the summer. My short temper extends to almost every circumstance of their existence. I am annoyed by drunk people, stupid people, slow-moving people, people who don't answer my questions quickly enough or with satisfaction, people who smile too much, people who just scowl, people who make me repeat myself, people who call me at inopportune times, people who talk too much, people who talk too little, people who boast, people who judge myself or others, people who pay in pennies and nickels, people who stare, I could go on and on and on here. The gist of it is.....I have no patience with anyone.
     I force myself to calm down breathe and NOT growl through my teeth a response that would instigate a physical outburst. I do this several times a day. I maintain a calm look and repeat myself for the fifth time and use every muscle in my face to offer a smile without a glimpse of the sneer that lies beneath. I can listen to the same song twelve times in a row while my daughter sings along out of tune with the wrong lyrics. I can wait fourteen extra minutes while she buttons her shirt herself or my son puts his shoes on the wrong feet three times in a row. I can do these things because they are teaching me patience. I have not come close to mastering it.....but if I grit my teeth hard enough and take deep breaths and tell myself it will soon be done.....well, you almost can't tell at all.

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