Friday, July 1, 2011

Big Hairy Struggle

LOVES being pampered!
At 3rd Birthday!
I LOVE getting my hair done. It's the one time I feel pampered and the only time it ever looks any good. I always schedule my appointments when I don't have the kids to maximize my enjoyment of it. That being said, I only get to do this about once every three or four months. I am totally that friend who would look so much prettier "if she just fixed herself up a bit more." I'm a busy's alright if the glamor takes a back seat every now and again.
     I have mentioned before just how much my daughter and I are alike. She is great with haircuts too! LOVES being pampered. I have fun playing dress-up with her and doing her nails, make-up and hair. When she was three, the thing she wanted the most for her birthday was pink streaks through her hair. I couldn't have been more proud. I took her to the salon and fulfilled her wish happily.
    Now let's get to the meat of the blog here. My son. Evil two year old, asshole, nemesis, yet the most angelic face you have ever seen. He hates haircuts. He hates them so much, I will let his hair get crazy shaggy until he looks slightly street urchin before I drag him in. I would let him grow his hair long and beautiful, but he doesn't take after my dark, sun lovin' side of the family. He's gets pink-cheeked and sweaty on contact with heat. Really....I only do it because HE MUST HAVE IT DONE.
HATES haircuts.
      Last night was Haircut Ambush Night. I cannot even describe the misery I endured. I was trying to mentally prepare my spawn for what was to come while some old man kept talking to me and cooing over how cute my son was. Just you wait mister....(inner monologue)....he's about to get A LOT less cute. The old man starts telling my son how cute his mom is. REALLY?!!! How fucking inappropriate can you BE?!!! I try to ignore this douchebucket and get the message through to my son that IF he behaves, he can have ice cream. I repeat this over and over and over until his name is called. He is telling me, "NO! No Mom! NOOOOO!!!!" Deep breaths as everyone in the salon is staring at me. I set him up in the chair, help the stylist wrap the sheath around him while he is kicking, screaming and biting at it. And.......below you can see what the next 15 minutes of my life were like. I FUCKING HATE TAKING HIM FOR HAIRCUTS!!!!

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